


Break (and let me pick up the pieces)

by oliveb72



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fortress of Solitude, Happy Ending, Kara Danvers Has PTSD, Kara Danvers Needs Therapy, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara is lonely, Kaznia, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, Mikhail - Freeform, alex works it out, kara danvers has depression, kara is alone, kara is missing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27289558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliveb72/pseuds/oliveb72
Summary: Kara is struggling, she and Lena haven’t spoken since Crisis. It’s been 40 years since Krypton exploded and it hits Kara hard. Kara goes missing, can Lena help her find the light for once before it’s too late?
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 60
Kudos: 440





	1. Missing.

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse the timings, they might not add up lol. Hope you enjoy it. This is very different to my previous pieces so **shrug** ...

She can carry a plane. She can stop a nuclear attack. She has ended a wars. But nothing she ever did seemed enough. No matter what she does, there is always something else to do. For a superhero, there was no such thing as a “rest day”. She was either working at her actual job, getting bossed around by Snapper or off saving someone. Most of the time without even a thank you. She doesn’t do what she does for the praise or the glory, she does it because she can. But is a  thank you really that hard for upending her life for humanity?

She will forever be thankful for being Supergirl. She’s grateful that after a long day of barely scraping past in her reporter job she can chase the sunset through the clouds to catch her breath, if only for a fleeting moment. 

She will always be grateful that she has that escape if she needs it. The only problem is, being Supergirl has ruined her life and destroyed her relationships,both platonic and romantic. All of her friends and family members are constantly put in danger to get to her. The amount of friendships she has lost from keeping lies is almost immeasurable. Not to mention, all of her romantic relationships are transient, lasting a month at most. It’s not like she doesn’t want to date, she really does, but it’s more that she stops herself before she can fall in love because she knows that if her partner got hurt from her being Supergirl she would not be able to live with it.

Logically, she knows her family is safe but that doesn’t stop the terror eating away at her in every waking moment, even leaching into her dreams. 

The worst part is that is that no one understands. No one can comprehend that she was just 13 when everyone and everything she had ever known was gone. Just like that. No one grasps the fact that she was 13 for twenty four years. Stuck. Twenty four years blurred into a lifetime, where all she could do was relive the moment that got her there. No one gets that as soon as she crashed on Earth she saw everything. She heard everything. Everything was new, everything was foreign. Her one mission, the one reason she didn’t lose hope in the empty void of the Phantom Zone was gone, he’d grown up. The only thing she recognised in this strange place didn’t even understand what she was saying, and yet he dared to wear her house crest. 

Even with that trauma, she still manages to sew on the fake smile each morning before she leaves her loft because she knows that a single crack in her facade would break her entirely. She wears the smile as another mask even more than her glasses, she wears it so often that nobody can realises it’s insincerity. 

And so each day, she waits, waits until she’s alone and sits down in the corner of her shower. She curls up as small as she can to try and seek solace in the familiarity of being trapped. She tries to recreate the silence she experienced for twenty four years. You would think that she would be terrified, even after all that time, but in reality- it’s calming. It brings her back to a time before she heard everything, every scream, every whisper and every cry.

No one knows half of what she’s been through. Not even Alex. She keeps it all contained because she knows that everyone has their own life, their own struggles. And she knows no one else would be able to cope with everything that has happened to her. She knowsbecause most of the time, she can’t even cope with it.

She has the weight of her world on her shoulders. Even the man of steel isn’t strong enough to carry it. This burden, is hers, so every day she carries it, alone. 

She knows it’s unhealthy, but in her worst moments -when she’s grieving the loss of an entire civilisation- she’ll be fighting, her crimson cape billowing out behind her and she’ll stop. She just stops. Just to feel a pain she can deal with. And in these moments, she will curse her invulnerable exterior or wish her heart was as tough as her skin.

This isolated loop she’s found herself in is strenuous and she’s stuck. She knows that she needs to let someone in, all the way, so that they can see her pain and her scars and help her through it. To hold her when she cries, and to be an unwavering presence in her darkest moments. She needs a new constant in her arduous life, a constant that isn’t her ceaseless struggle. But she cannot bare the thought that her experiences would cause them pain. 

It’s been almost 40 years since she lost everything. And in the months leading up to the anniversary, she shuts down. Completely. She goes to the DEO to retrieve her mother’s hologram and then she leaves, and doesn’t turn back. She doesn’t say goodbye. She flies to the Fortress of Solitude and locks herself in. She doesn’t sleep because her dreams are plagued with pain and torment. She doesn’t eat. She doesn’t work at Catco. She stops being Supergirl. She is entirely off the radar. She breaks. And it took a week for anyone to notice.

Catco didn’t notice because she quit. 

The DEO didn’t notice because she wasn’t needed that week.

James didn’t notice because he was in Metropolis.

Kal-El didn’t notice because he was on paternity leave.

J’onn didn’t notice because he was on Mars with M’gann.

Nia didn’t notice because she was helping Brainy with a side project.

Alex didn’t notice because she was on holiday with Kelly.

Lena didn’t notice because they hadn’t spoken since the Crisis.

Nobody noticed she vanished.

It wasn’t until Sara Lance and the Legends showed up requesting the help of Supergirl that anyone acknowledged her absence. 

Upon realising Kara wasn’t there, Sara tried calling. No response. So she tried Alex, even if it was still vaguely awkward- it was an emergency. 3 hours later, the Legends and Kelly were in Kara’s apartment with Alex pacing in front of them.

It wasn’t long before James and Superman arrived from Metropolis. Alex was calling Catco when they got there, the “What do you mean she quit!?” could be heard before they even opened the door. Sara was making some calls to Barry and Kate.

Soon, Kara’s loft was overcrowded and so they relocated to the DEO. When they got there Sara pulled Alex aside, “Hey, Alex. Have you called Lena?” 

To which Alex responded, “No...” trailing off.

“Alex, I know they’re going through a rough patch but don’t you think she would want to know?” 

“Ok, but you’re coming with me.” At that moment Kate Kane walked past, “Hey, Kate. Do you know Lena Luthor?” 

“Yeah, I know her. Why?”

“Cool, you’re coming with us.”

The trio left the DEO and had arrived at L-Corp 10 minutes later, Alex flashed her FBI badge and they were knocking on Lena’s door a little while after. Before Lena could even answer they entered the office. 

Without looking up, Lena Luthor queried coldly, “Agent Danvers, to what do I owe the pleasure?” She signed a document with a flourish as she gazed up,monetarily going wide-eyed at the presence of Kate Kane before her stoic expression returned. “Hey, Luthor” Kate said with a smirk. 

Lena stood up, and sauntered over to her drinks table and offered the others a drink she poured 4 glasses of scotch, and handed them out, she brought the glass to her mouth and without warning Alex began to speak, “Kara’s missing.” Lena choked on her drink, making her nose burn. “We don’t know how long she’s been gone.”

Lena scoffs, “What, so you’ve assumed I happen to have something to do with it? Local Luthor kidnaps Super! I can see the headlines.” Alex lunges as if to punch the CEO but Sara steps in before she gets filed for assault. “Hey, hey. Calm down Alex. No, I remembered when I last worked with Kara and she wouldn’t stop talking about you so I thought you might want to know.” 

Once Sara had calmed them down they all headed to the DEO. 

The four joined the group around the circle table in the middle of the DEO. There was an awkward silence before Caitlin spoke, “When was she last seen?”

Only a chorus of  I don’t knows echoed around the room. 

Alex broke the silence, “Well I last saw her on Monday just before I left for my holiday, has anyone seen her more recently?” 

No one had. 

Suddenly Alex yelled, “Brainy, track her heat signature!” He began tapping away at the computer keyboard when Cisco joined him, speeding up the search. 

“There is no sign of her, which means she’s probably off-world or underground.” announced Brainy.

Thinking out loud, Alex pondered, “I already checked with mum to see if she’s in Midvale, which she isn’t and it’s not like she has anywhere to go off-world, Argo vanished in the Crisis. Unless she’s gone to visit J’onn? Someone get a hold of him.” 

A few minutes later J’onn and M’gann appeared on the large screen at the head of the room, an “I’m sorry Alex, she’s not here. Keep us updated.” could be vaguely made out between bursts of static before the message faded out. 

There was an extensive silence when Sara began, “So, has she been kidnapped?”

Before Alex could get a word in, spinning on his chair, Brainy piped up, “That is the most likely scenario, there is a 96.43% chance she has been taken.”

Lena, who hadn’t spoken since she left L-Corp, started to speak, “I recognise that she has many enemies, but who would want to take her? Last time I checked, my mother and brother were dead. There aren’t many people who are as capable as them, surely?”

Hours had passed and Alex was beginning to feel frantic and she started pacing across the room. She was surrounded by the Legends, Team Flash, Batwoman, all of the DEO and 3 paragons and no one knew where Kara could be. They were all doing everything they could, scouring recent CCTV camera footage, they even had half the DEO searching on foot to see if they could find her. 

About twenty minutes earlier, Lena had wandered off to avoid the chaotic environment, she had barely managed to stumble into a random room before she started to have a panic attack. Backing into the wall, clawing at it with perfectly manicured nails, she fell apart. She hadn’t spoken to Kara in months and now she had just disappeared. 20 minutes later, when she finally remembered how to breathe, she looked up to see a platform with a box in front. The box had a hole in the top surface, a hole that looked like it would fit a specific object. 

Her fingers were grazing the rough ridges inside as Alex barged in aggressively. She looked up and startled when she acknowledged the presence of the other woman “Luthor! What are you doing in here? This room should have been locked!”

“The door was unlocked when I got here.” She said simply, turning around to face Alex. As she turned, she revealed the empty slot in the box. 

“Where is the crystal?” Alex demanded, stepping closer, pointing accusingly. 

Tuning back around, continuing to trace the outline, Lena responded, “Oh, is there meant to be a crystal here? Before you start to blame me, there was nothing here when I got here. You can search me if you must.” 

Grumpily, Alex retreated. “I need to tell the others, that crystal is the last thing she has of Krypton, aside from her cousin. If, no, when she gets back, if it’s not here she’ll be devastated.” She turned on her heal and left the room, closely followed by Lena.

As soon as they left, Alex immediately darted over to Clark, “Alura’s crystal is missing. Whoever took Kara must have known about it as well, this narrows down our suspects to people in this room which is not particularly useful.” 

Lena was still hovering a few feet behind Alex as the conversation continued, but she had zoned out. The chance of Kara having been kidnapped was slowly declining. Even though she is not religious in any way, shape or form, she just preyed that wherever Kara is, she is safe. 


	2. Parasite.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara at the fortress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this was a really short chapter. : )  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Any mistakes are mine.

There she sat, bundled in a crimson robe – a stark contrast from the arctic blue of the Fortress’ floor. Normally, in these scarce moments she would pray. She would pray to Rao that everyone she loves would stay safe. That everyone she knows has a good day. And that she has enough energy to keep that fake smile in its unwavering position. But now, she realises, she has nothing to pray for. Just as she has nothing to live for. Yes, all of her chosen Earth family are alive, but they will never replace the hole Krypton left, both in space and in her heart. She used to be able to accept it though, she used to be grateful she had those people to keep her sane. But now, they have all moved on and it feels like she’s stuck in the past. In a way she is, but she has nothing ahead of her for her to push on forward. Alex used to always be there for her, but now she has Kelly. Nia used to always be available for a good laugh, but now she will most likely be with Brainy. Kal-El used to be there for a chat, but now he’s a father. Lena used to be there, but now she hates her. Kara can’t fault any of them for having their own life, she knows that but that doesn’t make it any easier.

She used to pray, but now she meditates. She tries to clear her mind of all of her trauma. It’s easier there, at the Fortress of Solitude. It’s quiet. Peaceful. She doesn’t hear much. Just every now and then the pitter patter of fluffy footprints in the snow a few miles away. Normally, to escape sound- she would fly, fly as high and as fast as she possibly could until she reached the edge of Earth’s atmosphere. There it was silent. Really silent. But now she realises she simply doesn’t have the energy. Even Sol’s light isn’t enough to sustain her in this pit she has found herself in.

It’s hard. Normally, when you have this rage festering within you, it makes it easier to blame something or someone. But who does she have to blame? Her parents? They saved her life! Even if, sometimes she wishes her ashes were amongst those of her home.

She left on a Monday. She hasn’t kept track of the days but, if she had to guess, it would be Friday. Every now and then, when her mind isn’t entirely clear. She briefly wonders if anyone noticed she was gone. If anyone was looking for her. She shuts these thoughts down immediately. She knows they’re all too busy to notice, so why dwell on it.

Everyday is the same. She watches the sun rise. She mediates until dusk. She watches the sun set. She watches the stars.

Only when its dark does she let her mind wander. She lets herself imagine all of the what ifs. What if Krypton never burnt? What if she never found with the Danvers? What if she never met Lena? What if she told her sooner? What if she never fell in love? When her train of thought spirals to this point, she shuts it down. She doesn’t need to think abut that kind of what if. But the thing is, those thoughts are parasites, they eat away at her mind until it’s all she can think about.

It must be Sunday before she breaks her cycle. After the sun sets, she doesn’t let her mind wander. She plugs in her mother’s crystal. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it until now. But she doesn’t want to be alone 40 years on.

“Hello Kara. What can I do for you today?” reverberates around the glaciated room, instantaneously followed by a harrowing sob. Physically shaking, she dropped to the floor. Alex used to hold her up when that happened. And really, only in that exact moment did she acknowledge how alone she truly is. It’s been like that for far too long.

There she sat, bundled in a crimson robe, conversing with her mother as if it were the most normal thing. She hadn’t spoken to her mother’s hologram since she discovered the truth about Astra. How could she? After that, she rediscovered Argo. She found Alura. Then around half a year ago, she lost her all over again. And less than a day later, she lost her planet again. Just this time it was Earth. Once again, she was stuck in space somewhere where time doesn’t pass. Once again, she was stranded. Once again, she lost everything. It wasn’t any easier. At least this time she wasn’t alone.

Here, she lets her mask fall. Here, she doesn’t need to pretend. Here, she can break. And she does. She breaks into a billion pieces. The scatter around her aimlessly. The sound of her shattering would be heard for miles, except there’s no one there to hear it. It was too easy, her breaking. She’s virtually indestructible and yet, she broke like ice.

She has officially watched the sun set seven times from the Fortress. It has been a full week since she left. Part of her should break from the knowledge that no one has found her, but she is already broken. She can’t break anymore.

She is numb.

Today is the day. Forty years ago, she lost everything for the first time. Forty years ago, she was put in that pod as a scared thirteen-year-old, unaware that she would never see her father again. That she would never see Rao’s light bathe her childhood home again.

The crimson robe she has draped around herself is the blanket Kal-El was wrapped in. Aside from the crystal, it is the only thing she has from Krypton, especially since she gave her mother’s necklace to Mon-El. To this day, she doesn’t know why she gave it to him. Part of her thinks she was trying to let go of the weight of Krypton she carries constantly. She never even let Alex hold it and yet she gave it to that good for nothing Daxamite. Part of her loved him. Most of her loved the idea of being loved. For someone choosing to love her unconditionally. Alex says she loves her, but that’s probably because she has no choice. Afterall, Kara was a burden thrust upon her as a teenager. Alex didn’t want her there, she even told Kara herself.

Unwanted.

Alone.

Broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is really appreciated. Let me know where you think this is going.  
> : ) hope you enjoyed.
> 
> P.S. I'm still new to this so let me know what tags I should add, thanks. : )


	3. Where is she?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex sees the CCTV footage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is really late and really short. :)
> 
> Let me know what you think, and if there are any tags I should add. (I'm still kinda new to this)
> 
> : )

Back at the DEO, Kara was still nowhere to be found. Once Superman helped with the Legends’ little issue, it was all hands-on deck once more. That was Friday. It was now Monday again. One week since anyone had seen Kara.

It wasn’t like their attempts were half-hearted, but they were getting desperate. With everything being so hectic, Alex had forgotten about Alura’s crystal. It wasn’t until she went into that room again to ask her where she though Kara could be when she remembered it was gone.

As soon as she remembered, she called a meeting in the middle of the DEO. Gathered around the central table were all of Team Flash, the Legends, Batwoman, the Superfriends, Lena Luthor and a very pissed off Alex Danvers. After filling everyone in on the absence of the crystal, Brainy asked her if she checked CCTV. Internally kicking herself, she shook her head. How could she have been so stupid?! It’s the DEO! There are cameras everywhere! Because time was of the essence, Barry watched a week worth of footage in 10 minutes. All he could determine was an undeniable blur of red, blue and a dash of gold at precisely 11.27am on Monday. One week ago.

Silence.

Everyone went silent.

She wasn’t kidnapped.

She left.

She just left.

Everyone let that sink in for what felt like forever. The silence was only broken when Alex collapsed to¬ the floor in tears. It felt like it all happened in slow motion, when in reality, it took mere seconds. The next thing she knew was that she was screaming, screaming so much that it hurt. Why did Kara leave? What did she do wrong? Where is Kara? Where is her sister? She was still there, having not moved at all for several hours.

-

Throughout that time the DEO staff had gradually dissipated until Alex was the only one left. She had certainly lost track of time, and by now it was almost midnight. That was when Lena appeared. She hadn’t said anything for quite some time, so when she cleared her throat as she sat next to Alex on the floor, it came out gravelly. As she sat down, Alex began to unravel herself from the ball she had curled up in.

Nothing was said for a few minutes, until Lena spoke up, “Do you want me to call Kelly?” Alex barely shook her head. She started stretching out, her body not used to the lack of movement. Once satisfied she was comfortable, she started crying again. Muttering under her breath variants of the phrases, “What did I do wrong?” and "Where is she?"

Then Lena surprised them both. She hugged Alex. It was as much for Alex’s comfort as it was her own. She hadn’t hugged or been hugged for quite a few months and it was strange. She hadn’t been hugged for twenty years until she met Kara. Then for 4 years, there wasn’t a day go by where they hadn’t hugged. So yes, the past few months were strange. It should have been easy to adapt to Kara’s absence. It should have been easy, but it wasn’t.

They sat there, in each other’s embrace for a while. Sobbing on each other’s shoulder.

It felt like Kara left them both.

-

Both of them sat there, trapped in their own minds, tear stains on their cheeks until they fell asleep. Neither of them slept well, constantly waking up from sleeping on the floor. But neither of them had the energy to go else where. In the little sleep they did have, they kept being tormented with dreams where they found Kara or where she never came back. Both versions were hard to escape.

It hurt to know that Kara left. She willingly left them behind. She chose this. But they knew they weren't going to give up. How could they? Neither of them can live without Kara being in their lives, in whatever form that may be. Kara never gave up on either of them, so why would they give up on her.

-

As the sun begins to rise, the rays of light begin to filter through the open window in the DEO. Before long, the light wakes the girls up again. As their eyes adjust, Alex jumps up, startling Lena.

"I know where she is..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I realised the time scale is probably quite confusing so here is a little break down:  
> Kara left on Monday.  
> They realised she was missing on Thursday.  
> Superman sorted out the Legends’ issue on Friday.  
> It’s now Monday again.  
> (It ends at sunrise on Tuesday)
> 
> Hope that helps.


	4. Hiraeth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything catches up with Kara at the Fortress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. Sorry : )  
> All mistakes are mine.

Two weeks. That’s how long she has been gone. 

Originally, the silence was eery. Unnatural. Now she’s used to it. She adapted to the silence. She supposes that what she does best, adapting. Afterall, she had to.  
She had to adapt when she found herself on a new planet. She had to adapt when her only friend was murdered. She had to adapt to city life. She had to adapt to her hectic life with two full time jobs.

So, it’s good thing that adapting is something she does well.

Most herself is molded around something or someone else. Intertwined so much that she can’t find where she ends and everyone else begins. Constantly searching for validation, she has become someone she doesn’t recognise. She tries so hard to please everyone that she lost herself. So much so, she doesn’t even know where to even begin looking. Pleasing everyone became a second nature to her, purely because she knows what pain is –she’s lived it– and she doesn’t want others to experience that same pain. So, she solves their problems, or helps out and each time she does so, it adds to her struggle. But the problem is, without realising this weight that she carries has grown and got unbelievably heavy to the extent she is suffocating.

Last week, she spent most of her time reflecting. Reflecting on the past, what was or what could have been. Reflecting on her grief. Her guilt. Her hiraeth.  
Last week was for Krypton. Time for herself to appreciate that. This week was for her. She still doesn’t sleep or eat. She still watches the sun rise, the sunset and the stars. 

This week she aches. Everything has caught up with her. Exhaustion. Hunger. Longing. She aches for what she knows she can’t have. She wishes that she could do something about it, but she can’t. If she so much as blinks, the darkness immediately obscuring her vision, all too vivid flashes of her memory torment her. She longs for everything she wants, but can never have. Her home. Her family. Her soulmate. 

Sunlight gleaming through the skylight as Sol woke up for the day. His rays gracing her features, highlighting her eyes only to reflect the depth, desire and despair disguised in her oceanic irises, giving her just enough energy to last for the day. She continues to meditate, kneeling on the altar with her family insignia engraved on the surface. Breathing carefully, mind blank. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. That’s how she lives, although you probably wouldn’t call it living, surviving would be more accurate. She hasn’t lived in a long time; in some ways she really did die with Krypton. The crater in her chest is gaping, so much so that even if Krypton were to magically reappear, it would remain empty. This ache consumes her to the extent she can feel it ripping her apart. Her heightened senses mean she feels everything: the fabric brushing her skin; her hair falling off her shoulder; the first sign of rain; and yet never anything quite like this. She can feel everything but it almost never hurts. However, the hurricane in her heart is an entirely different story. Just like everything else, she feels heartache to the extremes. Each time it kills her a little bit more.

Scratching and scraping at the skin, frost particles began forming where she hadn’t moved her knees in a while. The raw conditions remind her of home. Kryptonians are were built for cooler temperatures than those on Earth. Rao was colder than Sol, that’s why she always ran hot, its one of the things she hasn’t been able to adapt to. Its why she loves winter, the snow feels so fragile and refreshing. Summer, on the other hand, is excruciatingly calescent. When she first arrived on Earth her only rest bite was the sea, the brisk waves balancing her out. She hasn’t acclimatised to the heat per se, more like accepted the fact there isn’t much that can be done.

Hours passed both in the blink of an eye and agonisingly slowly at the same time and before she knew it was the stars reflecting in her haunted eyes instead of the sun. When the skies are clear, sometimes you can still make out Rao light years away. Shoulders sagging at the thought that somewhere out in the deep cosmos, there is the remnants of the dust that built Krypton. Eyes fixed on the stars, bringing her knees up to her chest, she started sobbing. Reverberating around the glassy walls, she let it all go, everything she had. Alone in an ice palace where the cold felt comforting and she felt hollow.

The sun had risen once more before she stopped. Viciously wiping at her bloodshot eyes, she stood. Stumbling towards the entrance of the Fortress, dragging her feet and tripping up regularly, she tried open the door. It had been two weeks and she needed to be somewhere else. Not home. Not here. She needed a new start. A fresh start. She tugged at the stiff door for too long until her knees buckled and gave way. Leaving a red, blue and gold heap on the floor. 

Four weeks without sleep.  
Three weeks without food.  
Two weeks without social interaction.

It’s tiresome surviving in a constant state of misery.  
And it was finally catching up.  
It was the first slumber in years where the only dreams she had were arcadian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.  
> Let me know what you think and where it is going! : )


	5. Found.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Lena and Clark find Kara at the Fortress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, its been a while ; )  
> any mistakes are mine

“Director Danvers! T minus 10 minutes!” the helicopter pilot yelled out over the sound of the blaring rotors. 

Flying would have been her last choice, particularly in a chopper- the last time she’d been in one was over 5 years ago now and it got shot out of the sky by a drone. But then again, she couldn’t exactly drive out here in her Mercedes. Desperate times, desperate measures and all that. 

So here she was, squashed in the back of a helicopter with Alex Danvers a few DEO agents and an apparently trusted pilot. They were all piled in amongst various equipment, from blankets to bazookas and stretchers to stun guns. It would be a fair observation to say they were not sure what to expect when they arrived. 

Lena held her breathe until the chopper touched down onto the ground. The pilot killed the engine as the agents and Lena clambered out. Bundled in the thickest coats and warmest boots the DEO could provide, they huddled together as Superman landed in his signature pose beside them. 

“Agent Curtis, man the chopper. Agents Graham and Murphy with me. Agent Peters fall back with Ms Luthor. Superman lead the way” Alex barked out over the snow. It was amazing how she still managed to command authority with rosy cheeks and snowflakes in the hair that escaped her hood.

They trekked in formation for a couple of minutes until they were sheltered by the towering wall. 

She watched as Superman’s eyes scanned the ground becoming increasingly more exasperated. The longer he took, the more her eyes seemed to lose their focus, all she could think about was the last time she’d been inside this fortress, the things she had said. Tears glazed her eyes like the donuts Kara used to bring her, she only snapped out of it when Superman pulled Alex aside and said, “Its not here.”

“What do you mean it’s not here!?” 

“The dwarf star key is gone. I don’t understand, Kara and I are the only people who can lift that much dwarf star. I mean- as far as I know.”

“I still can’t believe a key under the doormat is your only protection. Can you force the door open?”

“Well, once this door is open there is a biometric scanner on another door but I can try.”

Superman begun tugging on the door as Lena and the other DEO officers stepped to the side. It was surprisingly quiet where they stood, sheltered by the Fortress. It felt like they’d been there for half an hour when Superman managed to get the door open, they probably had. Lena couldn’t help but think Kara could have done it at least twice as quicky. As they began to step into the Fortress, Kal-El stuck out his arm blocking Lena from moving any further. 

“I’m sorry Ms Luthor, you should wait here with Agent Peters. There’s an ‘Anti-Luthor’ failsafe installed that detects Luthor DNA”

“I appreciate your concern Mr El but I am well aware of that fact. I have been here before.” Lena replied brusquely as she ducked underneath his arm and continued on to the next door. She didn’t see the panicked glance he threw Alex nor did she see her shove him along.

Once he reached the door, he pressed his hand to the El insignia and announced “I am Kal-El son of Jor-El, I come with 5 guests.” And the door began to rumble open.  
With her head held high Lena began to walk through the door, it will always astound her how elegant this palace is with its high ceilings and huge statues. She was gazing at the rough engraving on the far wall, some symbols, so she didn’t see where she was going and tripped over a solid crimson blanket. Once she stood up and collected herself again, she turned on her heel and saw her. She hadn’t seen her in at least 6 months, since before the world ended, right here in the Fortress of Solitude.

Alex sent the DEO agents to look around and see if they could find anything suspicious. Then Lena knelt down and brushed the golden hair out of Kara’s face, grazing her cheek in the process. Gasping she stood abruptly, as Alex and Clark rounded her to stand beside Lena, also gasping when they saw her.

Hollow. The only word that any of them could think of to describe Kara’s face. Her cheeks were gaunt and her eyes were sunken. She almost looked paler than the snowfall behind her. Her usually skin tight suit hung in places it shouldn’t. She looked breakable. Fragile. Like a ghost. 

When the agents returned empty handed, Clark picked her up. Careful not to knock her about as he held her in a bridal carry. Her limbs sagged and her head fell back, Alex checked her pulse which was weak but there, breathed a sigh of relief and kissed her on the forehead. Clark began to march her back to the helicopter and on Alex’s orders the agents followed close behind. Alex started to head back when she noticed Lena hadn’t moved an inch. She paced over to Lena like she was a scared child, and hugged her. It was stilted and uncomfortable but it provided some comfort. “She’ll be ok. Come on let’s head back.” As they left the Fortress, Lena through a glance over to the symbols she saw on the way in and slowly, her eyes fell on where she trapped Kara almost seven months ago.

Once they reached the helicopter, Superman gently lay Kara in the back. DEO agents piled in, and Lena and Alex sat beside Kara. They all put the headphones on and Lena cradles Kara’s head in her lap, softly brushing her hair behind her ears. She closed her eyes as the rotor began to turn and squeezed them shut until they were airborne, but her hand didn’t stop once. Superman took to the skies and raced ahead. On Kara’s other side, Alex started to take Kara’s vital to the best of her ability cramped in the back of a moving helicopter.

It was a smooth journey back to the DEO helipad. Not a drone in sight. Once again, Clark took Kara in his arms and carried her down to the medbay. Alex dismissed the agents and followed him with Lena in tow. Agents inside parted ways like the Red Sea. It was somewhat of a common occurrence seeing Supergirl being carried across the DEO. Alex unclipped the cape as Clark laid her down on a bed. Lena stood cautiously in the corner and observed Alex dance around Kara, it was obvious she had done so before.  
Now Kara was lying in the artificial sunlight, she looked even more haggard than before. Sunlight danced across her face, highlighting the bags around her eyes and the dips under her cheekbones. Tenderly rolling Kara over, Alex tugged at the zipper of her suit and began removing it. She passed it to Lena, who still stood in the corner, and she mindlessly folded it and put it beside her. With just a sports bra a boxer shorts, she looked grey and faded. 

They both thought they’d be relieved when they found Kara, and they were but that’s only because they’re scared to think of the state she would have been in if they hadn’t found her. Instead, they find themselves in a sombre mood. It’s eerily quiet, safe for the gentle hum of the machines around Kara. 

Alex left without a word to go and find some spare clothes for Kara, slightly worried she would have to find clothes at least one size down. And then it was just Kara and Lena. Lena watched Kara breathe like a fly on the wall, it was a stark contrast to their last encounter with all the yelling and the rage.

Lena wanted to hate Kara, she really did. After all, she was just like everyone else in her life. 

Except she wasn’t. Kara wasn’t like anybody. She was literally out of this world. 

Despite being extremely educated, Lena jumped to conclusions. Maybe she wouldn’t have if Kara told her herself. And in Kara’s defence, she never really gave her the chance to explain why. Why she waited over 3 years to tell her. Why she didn’t trust her with this part of herself. 

She was cruel in the aftermath of finding out, she is well aware. She became her brother. She used her to get Lex’s journals. She used Kryptonite on Supergirl when she swore she would never. But most of all, worked with Lex. That was something she promised herself she would never do. Even though she justified it by doing it for humanity, the greater good she regrets it. Part of her always knew he would stab her in the back (not just metaphorically) but she was too hurt to see past it. Kara broke a part of her that she didn’t know she had. That hadn’t been broken before. 

Breaking herself out of her deep thought, she shuffled over to the beside and kissed her on the forehead. Together they dressed Kara as carefully as they could as if she were a newborn baby.

She dragged a chair over and held Kara’s hand and Alex did the same on the other side of the bed. Her hand was cold to the touch, not filled with her usual warmth. She felt frigid.


	6. Memories.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is is the DEO med bay and Alex and Lena do some thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its short, but two chapters in two days... go me!!
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy it and leave comments. I love seeing where you want/think this to go!
> 
> <3
> 
> I edited this chapter so something made more sense in the next one : )

A few days had passed and Kara hadn’t changed. Her face was still gaunt and grey. Her clothes still hung loose around her body. She still had a breathing tube and an IV. The monitor and machines continued their gentle hum and buzz. 

People had come and go, stopping by to keep Kara company when Lena and Alex needed to shower or change. Neither of them had even left the DEO since they brought Kara in, now living in DEO issue sweats and t-shirts. Kelly had dropped off meals for them both and hung around in Kara’s room after work but still went home to an empty apartment.  
Mostly, they just sat in silence, there wasn’t much to talk about: Kara had left, they found her unconscious. 

Days gradually became a week and the other heroes stopped by once in a while when they weren’t too busy. Lena had continued her work from the med bay after having an interesting conversation with her assistant when she asked for her laptop, work phone and a selection of work shirts to be dropped off at an unnamed building at the edge of the city. She kept up appearances with conference calls with the board and big clients but called Sam to run most things from Metropolis.

People of National City were getting antsy as their beloved blonde superheroine hadn’t been spotted for almost a month and so Barry had been helping Nia for a while to keep the city from falling apart. Rumours spread like wildfire across the globe to the point Cat Grant had called James from Cat Island near Japan wondering where Supergirl was. 

Kara wasn’t getting any better but she also wasn’t getting worse so they had to hold on to hope. Even though, both Alex and Lena were lost in their own minds thinking about Kara. 

Alex thought about all the close calls Kara had had in the past and how this was the strangest (and that is from someone who saw the blonde absorb sunlight from the grass after her heart stopped.) She thought about how they found her at the Fortress frail and faded and wondered why she was there in the first place.

Lena thought about their previous interactions, she’d been doing that a lot- analysing every interaction they’d ever had from galas to game nights and donut dates to daring rescues. In her heart she believed there was some truth but, in her mind, it had all been a lie- a ploy to get close to the youngest Luthor. She trusted her mind a hell of a lot more than her heart because she got into this mess by following her heart. Part of her knew that she shouldn’t have let down her walls for Kara, however the other part of her recognised that she didn’t have much of a say in that respect. Kara wormed her way into her cold heart and made herself comfortable, she wants to believe more than anything that Kara is good and that she didn’t manipulate her but she’s isn’t convinced.

She thought about how Kara wept when she told her the truth. She thought about all the promises Kara made when they curled into each other on the couch in her office. She tried to throw that couch away a few months ago because every time she looked up from her desk, she could no longer focus on work. So, she moved it into her guest bedroom at her penthouse, she hardly ever went in there anyway, but she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of it. It felt like a betrayal (she ignored the irony of that) just like she couldn’t bring herself to delete the text messages with red heart emojis and the album of photos on her phone. 

She had a box in the back of her closet of all the Christmas presents and birthday presents she’d ever had. Before she met Kara, there were just little things from Lex, the chess set he got her for their first Christmas together or the robot they’d built for her eight birthday. Since she met Kara, the original box had overflowed and she needed a new one. Kara went above and beyond for gifts every year without fail. In the new box was the Christmas necessity gift set Kara got her for the first Christmas they’d spent together (even though they’d only known each other for less than 3 months) Lena had mentioned briefly that she never did anything but work on Christmas, that the Luthor’s never did anything but the annual gala to show off their “perfect family”. She mentioned how she’d never been allowed to watch a Christmas movie, nor decorate a tree (“that’s what the staff are for Lena” Lillian had told her when she was 4) or even own Christmas jumper. So, Kara bought her 10 different Christmas movies that she “absolutely needed to watch”, a little artificial tree with fairy lights and tinsel and decorations, and a reindeer Christmas jumper that sung and lit up. Now, Lena was the richest woman in the world (third richest person) so of course she could have bought any of this herself but it was the thought that Kara had done this for her. She hadn’t had a Christmas present or birthday present in at least 6 years and there Kara was with all of that like it was nothing. 

Her happy memories trailed off and she was brought back to the present. To Kara laying there needing a tube to breathe. They brought her back exactly week ago and there had been no change. There were still bags under her eyes and dips beneath her cheekbones. She doesn’t know how to feel, the last time she saw Kara in person she turned and walked away, she left her alone in the Fortress encased in a Kryptonite prison. She watched the blonde’s veins glow a sickly green colour. And she left. 

They had taken the breathing tube out yesterday, hopeful Kara would wake up soon. Without it, they could just pretend she was taking a nap back at her loft. There was a pink tinge to her cheeks that wasn't there before, things were looking up after all.

Biting her manicured thumb nail, she watches the slow rise and fall of Kara’s chest, listens to the buzz of machines and looks over to Alex, her hand in Kara’s, asleep in the uncomfortable chair. She gets up and walks out, not without turning to look back at Kara looking so small in the bed.

Pacing down the corridors of the DEO it was quiet, not a person in sight. She made it to the bathroom in minutes, takes a deep breath and steps into the scalding hot shower to try and scrub of the pain, guilt and regret. She knows it’s futile but its better than wallowing upstairs watching Kara breathe. Scrubbing until the water run cold, she must have been in the shower for over an hour when she gets out, patting her hair down with her towel. She steps into a new set of sweats and a t-shirt and leaves the bathroom.

When she gets back to the medbay, Alex is still bent over the chair asleep but Kara is gone.


	7. Flight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara leaves (again) the DEO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so this kinda took a turn. But this may be a slower burn than I had originally planned...
> 
> it is quite short chapter... enjoy : )

When she woke up, the blanket around her felt heavier than a concrete block. She recognised her surroundings, after all she’d woken up here may times before. The weight of the hand in hers felt familiar, without even looking she knew it was Alex’s. The steady buzz was unsettling, she could hear it ringing in her ear. The overwhelming smell of disinfectant made her gag, she used to love that smell, the smell of hospitals, it reminded her of her father’s lab. After finding out about the truth of the medusa virus, the smell made her feel sick. Sunlight blared in her eyes; she couldn’t see much of anything. The IV stinging her arm meant that she had solar-flared, they wouldn’t have got the needle in otherwise. She liked it when she solar-flared, it reminded her of her life on Krypton- slow and quiet. She didn’t have any super responsibilities and she could hug people without restraint. The only downside was that her articles took a lot longer. With that information in mind, she ripped out the IV and as quietly as she could, she swung her legs out of the bed. Wobbling a bit, she gained her balance and took her hand out of Alex’s. 

Looking down, she was dressed in DEO “comfort” clothes. She made a beeline to the storage room and found some combat boots, a coat, socks, hat and gloves. She put the socks on then carefully laced up the boots. Next, she wore the hat and gloves and wrapped the coat around herself.

Leaving the storage room mostly how she found it, she managed to get outside without being seen by anyone. If she wasn’t in the city, the stars would have been twinkling down on her in the night sky. Automatically turning left, hands buried in her pockets, she made her way to her loft without any drama. In the corridor, she took the spare key from the plant outside and unlocked the door. It was exactly how she left it. Shuffling into her bedroom, she grabbed a bag and started shoving t-shirts, sweaters and underwear in it all with several pairs of leggings and sweats. Whilst she was packing clothes, she stumbles upon her passport and threw it in for good measure. It was almost full when she ambled into the bathroom, picking up her toothpaste and toothbrush and throwing those in as well, not before brushing her teeth to get the hospital taste out of her mouth. She left the bathroom and moved into the kitchen grabbing some snacks out of her snack cupboard and threw those in the bag too. Now, she was standing in the middle of her apartment, the bag resting against her ankle, looking at everything. Her eyes caught on all the photos staggered around the room, followed by her glasses resting on the coffee table. She picked them up, fiddling with them as she continued to look around the room. Her easel held her most recent painting of the sunset on Krypton and her bookshelf held all the diaries that she’d filled with her memories of home, hoping to one day share them with someone instead of disguising them as normal books.

In the end she just picked up a photo frame and shoved it in her bag along with her glasses and her wallet. Just because she was leaving didn’t mean she couldn’t take the photo of Lena, Alex and herself with her, no one would know anyway. She left her loft almost as quickly as she came. Locking the door and putting the key back where she found it, she put the bag on her back and left the building. 

She walked for hours; the sun had risen by the time she got to the airport. On her walk, she could have counted on two hands the number of people he had seen. When she walked through the doors to the airport, that changed. It was full of life, bustling about. She managed to buy a plane ticket. She passed customs with ease and found herself in the Duty-Free Big Belly Burger before long. She ordered double her usual order, no one had to know it was just for her…

After she finished eating, she strolled around the area, not stopping anywhere for too long. She was standing at the cash machine, after having taken out most of her money, when they called her flight to the gate. Here goes nothing. 

Boarding was quick and she found her seat with ease. There weren’t many other passengers, most of whom were on this particular plane as connecting flight to elsewhere. The last time she had been on a plane, she was with Lena, on her private jet. She remembers it so vividly; she was about to reveal herself to Lena when the turbulence hit. Lena had been so worried about Kara getting hurt that her fear of flying dissipated to try and save her. She wondered, as she usually did, whether anything would be different if she told Lena on that plane. It was in the past though, and so she couldn’t do anything about it. 

She thought about Lena a lot since their fight. It wasn’t surprising really, she always thought about Lena, about how her day was going, whether she’d eaten anything or actually gone home the night before. She took it really hard when Lena made it clear that she never wanted to see her again, it was like she lost everything all over again- something she’s done one too many times in her life. She had lived a long time without Lena and she had other people in her life, but after she left, she felt lonely. She fell asleep wondering what Lena was up to now, whether she was aware that she had left or not.

It was a sooth flight and she managed to sleep without being plagued by various reoccurring nightmares. When she landed, she stepped of the plane and was blasted with the cold, frosty air.

It was a small airport, after all, Kaznia never had many visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	8. Alone again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara settles into a room in Kaznia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say, thank you so much for all the comments. They honestly make my day.
> 
> Hope you enjoy. <3
> 
> Also, italics are where characters would be speaking in Kaznian.

When Red Daughter’s body merged with her own, their brains fused together. This meant that she knew how to speak fluent Kaznian. She never told Alex because it meant she could keep part of the person who saved her. However, it also meant she had her memories, for example, she knows how Lex killed Mikhail to make America look bad.

Kaznia is a small nation, to the west of Russia. In many ways, Kaznia reminds her of Krypton. The language is the most similar earthly language to Kryptonese and the climate is almost identical. Since the Red Daughter incident, the government had been overthrown and a new one was put in its place. It is a country that strives for calm after having been tormented by war for the past 60 years, it’s peaceful. Residents can stroll into the woods without fear of being shot for once.

Walking along the runway to the airport she noticed how they were surrounded by frosty woodland. After getting directions from the airport security guard, she began walking to the nearest town. 3 other people had gotten off the same plane as her and they had all been met by family members. It made her think about how after this journey, whatever journey that may be, there wasn’t anyone waiting for her at the other end. And that made her miserable.

Upon arriving the town, she booked a room in the rickety cottage with a thatched roof. Even in this strange place the building gave her a sense of homeliness. Olga, the little old lady who owned the building, stepped up the stairs with her and unlocked her door. The room is quaint, a single bed tucked in the corner with navy bedding and wooden frame and at the foot of the bed, sits a worn leather trunk. Beside the bed is a wooden table, with a little candle and book on top. Against the other wall, sandwiched between two small square window in a metal fireplace. In front of which is a threadbare armchair angled towards a window. In spite of the icy temperatures, the room made her feel warm. “ _I shall leave you to it then dear_.” Olga whispered before closing the door. And now she was alone again.

Getting a fire going was harder than she had previously thought, usually she would kickstart it with her heat vision but that was an option so she was stuck doing it the old-fashioned way. Then she took the clothes out of her bag, folding them into the leather trunk. She tucked her bag underneath the bed and put her glasses and photo on the beside table. She stared at them both for a long time.

Her glasses reflect the sunshine, they hide the depths people don’t want to find. The depths you wouldn’t know were there unless you dived in. It isn’t like there’s a caution sign. Most people only stroll along the sands anyway, a scarce few toe the water’s edge but still too afraid of what they might find. Her glasses mask her eyes. And her eyes mask the pain. Pain of losing everything. There’s a fire in her eyes that cause the shadows of her ancestors to dance across her face. They’re invisible unless you look.

Her glasses aren’t the only cover for her secret identity. Supergirl exudes confidence, power and bravery. Kara Danvers exudes doubt, clumsiness and sunshine. Kara Zor-El is the middle ground, she is both and she is neither. Nobody has ever truly met Kara Zor-El. Kara Danvers and Supergirl were both products of who people needed her to be. Whether it was someone to lift a building from above you or look after your cat while you were away. Kara Zor-El was who she needed to be for herself. Which is why her “disguise” worked perfectly, no one could separate the two because neither of them truly exists. They are what you need them to be. They are a figment of your imagination. They are characters but the method acting has made her confused. She is both and she is neither. She is Kara- Zor-EL, someone who has lost herself in the process.

That photo stared back at her with the same pain that she gazed at it with. Neither of them needed her, not really. Alex had Kelly and to be fair, she never really wanted Kara to start with. And Lena, well Lena despised her, they used to be attached at the hip but before she left, it seemed like Lena couldn’t get far enough away.

The photo was taken at a game night about a year ago, before everything flipped upside down. They were all happy then, well kind of. They all looked happy, there wasn’t the strain on their relationships yet Alex wasn’t with Kelly and Lena was in the dark. Kara doesn’t blame Kelly for her losing Alex, after all it was the same with Maggie, she blames herself. But that doesn’t change the fact her sister is happily in a relationship. (She’s glad her sister has Kelly, really, she’s good for Alex with her calming personality and seemingly endless patience.) But Kara isn’t in a happy relationship, she’s not even in a relationship. She doesn’t have someone to go home to at the end of a stressful day, she doesn’t have that person who would listen to her spill her heart out about Krypton. She tells herself that she’s ok with that, that it’s better that way, that she can’t hurt them if they’re not with her but she’s not really ok with that. She wants more than everything to not be alone but she guesses it just not written in the stars.

Rao gave her a different path to follow so she should just stick to it.


	9. The airport.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena go to the airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me go! Two chapters in 1 day!
> 
> As always, hope you enjoy. <3

As soon as Lena noticed Kara was no longer in the hospital bed, she shook Alex awake. “Alex, Alex. She’s not here!” 

Alex responded with a grumble until the words sank in and she bolted upright. 

“She was here and then I left to shower and I got back and she was gone!” Lena whispered still in shock. The IV was hanging limp to the side of the bed and the blanket that was covering Kara was now on the floor. But nothing else had been touched. Once Alex was completely up and alert, she raced to the computer with Lena close behind. Pulling up the CCTV footage, the pair watched as Kara left the medbay and went to the storage cupboard, coming out in a coat and leaving the building and turning left. 

That was 48 minutes ago. 

“Her apartment is a 10-minute walk in that direction. Come on. Meet me out front!” Alex shut the computer down and ran to her locker, grabbing her bike helmet along with her spare she sprinted to her bike in the DEO garage. She clicked the helmet in place and drove round to the front of the building where Lena was pacing. Alex fixed the helmet to Lena’s head and Lena clambered gracelessly onto the bike and they sped off. They were outside Kara’s apartment within minutes and knocking on the door.

No answer.

“Come on Kar, I know you’re in there” 

No answer.

“Kara please, open the door.”

No answer.

“Right! That’s it. I’m coming in.”

Unlocking the door, they strolled into the apartment.

Empty.

“Alex, some of her stuff isn’t here. Last time we were here her glasses were on the coffee table.”

Coming out of Kara’s bedroom, Alex pointed behind her, “Half of her clothes are gone too. She must have packed a -”

Alex was cut off by a knock at the door, opening it to reveal Kara’s neighbour. “Hello, Alex dear. It’s very late. Kara left about half an hour go ago.”  
“Thank you, Ms Barnes. Do you know where she was going?”

“Not a clue sweetie. Is everything alright, she hasn’t been home much recently? Usually, she asks me to water her plants when she’s gone.”

“She’s fine, she might have gone back home to Midvale. She’s got a lot on her plate at the moment, she probably forgot to ask you.”

“Ok, dear. Let me know if you need anything.” She said as she closed the door behind her. It was quiet for a few minutes until Alex started pacing.

“I just- I just don’t understand why she keeps leaving. Especially when she has solar-flared. I’ll call mom later to see if she really has gone to Midvale or not.” 

“Why don’t you check to see what else she took with her and I’ll get my facial recognition software to analyse CCTV footage. She can’t have gone far, but it’d be pointless to look on foot because we have no idea what direction she went in this time.”

Sitting at the breakfast bar, she took her laptop out of a bag Alex hadn’t even noticed her bring and started typing away. It took her brain a few seconds to kickstart but then she started looking through Kara’s apartment. Five minute later she stood opposite Lena, “She’s taken her toothbrush and toothpaste. Also, her passport isn’t where she used to keep it”

“I’ll check airport CCTV footage then. Also, there’s a photo missing from the coffee table and her wallet isn’t on her desk.”

“Do you know what the photo was of?”

“Us.”

Quite a while later, Lena broke the silence, “I don’t think she’s at or has been at the airport, the facial recognition software is fool-proof. It analyses bone structure, there’s no way she can change her bone structure in the time frame that we have. Have you found anything else?”

“No. I guess it’s possible that she started storing her passport elsewhere because she doesn’t usually go through the typical channels if she wants to fly, so she doesn’t need it that often. I think we should go back to the DEO and use the computer there, that way I can actually be helpful!”

It wasn’t long before they were back at the DEO, scouring CCTV footage to find where she could have gone. So far, they were coming up empty. “Currently, she doesn’t have her powers, which means that she can’t have flown anywhere or ran quickly. Even though she does still walk abnormally fast, she can’t have gotten far.”

Alex was getting very angry, very quickly. It was all too confusing. Kara was fine. She didn’t understand why Kara kept leaving. She didn’t understand why Kara was in the state she was in when they found her. She just didn’t understand.

She didn’t know what to do to get Kara to stay. 

Lena, on the other hand, was very stressed. When she said she never wanted to see Kara again, she hadn’t meant it, she was hurt and she wanted to hurt Kara back. There was no power behind her words, not really. 

She just wants Kara to come back home.

They both do.

A few hours had passes in the blink of an eye when the computer pinged. “Alex, come here. The facial recognition software just pinged. She’s at the airport…” 

“I knew it, we should have driven there earlier and beat her to the airport. Come on let’s go.” Alex yelled, marching towards the door.

“Ok, but can I drive in my car, I don’t think I can deal with your driving right now?”

It took them an hour to get to the airport, Alex flashed her FBI badge to every member of staff who crossed them. They arrived at the ticket desk and showed every member of staff there a photo of Kara and asked them where she had bought a ticket to.

A frightened looking kid piped up, “I sold her the ticket, it was to Kaznia. I swear, I didn’t know she’d done anything illegal. The plane left 20 minutes ago.” His eyes kept darting between Alex and Lena, who was never seen anywhere without a bold shade of lipstick or her power outfits. And yet, here she was, wearing sweats without make up; she still looked absolutely terrifying. 

Alex looked like she was going to burst but still managed to sound calm when she spoke, “Don’t worry. Thank you for your cooperation.” 

Walking out, she whispered in hushed tones to Lena, “Why did she go to Kaznia? There isn’t anything for her there.”

Little did she know, that’s exactly how Kara felt about National City.


	10. Mikhail.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara meets Mikhail.

She woke up shivering, the fire had gone out a while ago. The sunrise shone through the frosted windows giving the room a dim glow. She dressed quickly, tugging on her boots and pulling her coat tight around herself. Locking the door behind her as she left, shuffling down the stairs. Olga was already awake, pottering about in the kitchen quietly. Kara stood cautiously by the doorway before the little old lady turned to greet her, _“Good morning dear, did you sleep well? I didn’t expect you to wake up so early.”_

_“I slept wonderfully. It’s so peaceful here.”_

_“Would you like some breakfast?”_

_“That would be lovely. Thank you, Olga.”_

She continued pottering about in the kitchen as Kara sat down at a table in the corner of the room, she hung her coat on the back of the rickety wooden chair. Olga had a strong fire burning in the fireplace so it was warmer down here in the kitchen than upstairs in her attic room. Kara had no idea what it was that Olga was cooking, but it smelt delightful. She was sitting at the table in an inn in Kaznia, but her mind was elsewhere. Deep in her thoughts about her old lives; her eyes glazed over. Questions floated around aimlessly in her head, al the what ifs and the could have beens pulled her away from the moment. What if Lena didn’t hate her? Could they work together? What if they were together? Could she have been happy again?

Olga interrupted her chain of thought by putting a full plate in front of her, _“You look famished, dear, eat up. Do you have any plans for the day?”_

_“Oh, Olga! This is lovely! No, I was going to visit the town, get my bearings.”_

_“That’s lovely dear. If you don’t mind me asking- what are you doing all the way out here, we don’t get many visitors?”_ Olga sat down opposite Kara, wrapping her threadbare shawl around her shoulders.

_“I just needed a fresh start, and I came here last year for work. Kaznia reminds me of home.”_

After Kara finished her breakfast, Olga immediately took the plate away from her, dropping it into the sink. “Thank you, Olga. Breakfast was lovely, “standing up, she wrapped her coat around herself, _“I would love to stay and chat but I really ought to get the lay of the land. I’m planning on staying a while so I’ll look for work.”_

_“That’ great dear. Maybe we can talk over dinner.”_

Leaving the inn, Kara watched the gentle snowfall from the doorstep. As she shuffled along the path, the early morning sun glints across the snow. Amber leaves hung from branches as a reminder of the autumn, a stark contrast to the white of the snow. With her regular hearing (still better than the average human) it was silent, except for her heavy footfall and the delicate hoot of an owl in the distance. The air out here is so pure, so clean, no city poisons, no littered streets. It’s refreshing. Krypton, in her final years was so polluted, but here, the fresh air is that of myths and legends.

Olga’s lodge was a little way out from the town, so Kara trudged along in her combat boots. Slowing down as she came to a clearing; she admires the view- a frozen lake glimmers in the morning light reminding her of the glass ponds. Against the lake, wooden cabins perched on the beach with snowy hats. In the background, a steep hill sat, decorated by dense woodland. The scene looks like a postcard sparkling in the sun.

When she got to the village, it was bustling with life -well as much as a village can- children, donned with messenger bags, raced down the lane. Adults setting up their various shop fronts for the day. It seemed like the kind of town from fairy tales, the kind where everyone knows everyone.

She had been standing in front of the bakery window for a few minutes when a body crashed in to her, a little kid, maybe nine or ten, _“I thought you were gone. Red daughter.”_

_“I’m sorry, I’m not Red Daughter. I’m her…”_ there was a pregnant pause while the child looked up at her wide eyed, _“I’m her twin, Kara. What’s your name?”_

_“Hello Kara, my name is Mikhail. Is Red Daughter okay?”_ he stepped back but remained wide eyed.

_“I am sorry Mikhail, she passed away a little while ago.”_ As soon as she finished speaking the boy, Mikhail broke down in sobs, _“It’s okay Mikhail, let it out. How did you know Red Daughter?”_

Between sobs, he replied, _“She was my friend. She rescued me.”_

Knees in the snow, she hugged Mikhail, who was still sobbing into her shoulder. _“Hey, Mikhail, where are your parents?”_

In response he just shook his head, and Kara understood. She always understands.

_“Would like to go into the bakery? When I’m sad I like to eat pastry.”_

He didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to.

When they came out of the bakery, their arms were laden with baked goods. Stumbling over to a log beside the path, they sat down. _“Mikhail, I’m new here. Would you like to be my friend?”_ with sugar smeared on his chin, he nodded his head.

They sat in a comfortable silence until they had polished off all the food, _“You know, Mikhail, my parents passed away too.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This will keep going and I’ll likely add tags as I go. Let me know what you think should happen. Constructive criticism is much appreciated. Thanks. :)


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